seveninches | Dated January 10, 2017

It had seemed like a good enough way to kick off the new year. The flying monkey bat things at Kagura on New Years Eve had been fun, had given Isabelle cause to get her whip out again, but it wasn't quite the same. It was a relatively easy fight, nothing like the kind of high she gets when fighting demons. Which is why it hadn't taken long for her to ask Alec to go out, and he had readily agreed. Isabelle knows she can always count on Alec to be behind her in a fight, and she knows that on some level, even he gets restless in this city.

The night starts off normally enough. They both armed themselves, dressed in their gear and headed out. Demons were starting to appear less frequently in Darrow but they still cropped up on the odd occasion, and Isabelle was glad that tonight appears to be one of them. Her necklace hummed at her throat and together they followed it to the edge of the city, their footsteps silent on the street.

The demon, once they found it, was particularly horrible. Every time she sees a new one Isabelle thinks they can't possibly get any grosser, but they always seem to find a way to surpass her expectations. It looked like a giant slug, its body covered in rows upon rows of suckers that Isabelle had no intention of finding out the purpose of. It was faceless, or eyeless at the least, but on both ends was a gaping mouth with rimmed with what looked like shark's teeth. Its back was lined with sharp, dagger-looking wings, more of them than Isabelle could count. Isabelle cast a quick glance towards Alec, but he was stony-faced, an arrow already nocked.

The demon lunged at them quickly, and Isabelle was surprised with the speed at which it moved, considering its lumbering size. She dodged and it missed her narrowly enough that she felt its breath hot and disgusting, saw yellow drool dripping from its mouth. Isabelle flung her whip out but Alec was faster, embedding an arrow in the demon's mouth. It reared back and Alec shot again at the same time as Isabelle brought her whip down, feeling it cut through layers of demon flesh. Demon ichor sprayed out and Isabelle almost gagged at the smell. She'd need a hardcore rune to get the smell and stains out of her gear later, but for now that hardly mattered.

"Alec, move!" she shouted as the demon went for him, obviously in pain but not about to give up yet. Alec backed up a little, arrow after arrow flying from his bow and thudding into the demon's flesh, but it kept moving. Gritting her teeth, Isabelle raced forward and brought her whip down in a flash with all her strength. The demon sliced in half, shuddering and twitching and hissing in pain. Isabelle grimaced and glanced toward Alec to make sure it hadn't touched him. She was only distracted for half a second but the demon writhed and gave one last lunge, sinking sharp teeth into her leg. Isabelle screamed, bringing her whip down hard and forcing it to release her, but she could feel herself collapsing at the same time. She fell back, dimly hearing Alec shout her name but she was already drifting, her breathing coming in sharp bursts, her eyes slipping closed.

And she remembered. There had been a time almost exactly like this, she knew. Not in Darrow but home, in Hell, of all places. She remembers the stink of the air, how hard it was to breathe under the suffocating weight of it. She remembers Alec, heartbroken and so determined to find Magnus. She remembers the desperation in Clary's eyes, the fierceness in Jace's. She remembers them all marching in to Hell to save their friends, knowing that there was a good chance none of them would come back.

Isabelle convulses on the ground and she knows Alec is there, calling to her, but she's stuck, watching flashes of thoughts and memories that she doesn't remember having racing through her mind. She remembers Sebastian, his disguise gone and his hair as silver as Valentine's, his eyes cruel. And she remembers Max, remembers the way he looked at her the last time she saw him, remembers going to his funeral and feeling like a part of her soul had been torn out. She might die here, she thinks idly, but that seems suddenly to matter far less in the shadow of the knowledge that Max died first, that it was her who was supposed to protect him and she failed.

Slowly she comes to, fuelled back to consciousness by the pain in her leg. It doesn't make any sense but she knows that the memories are real, knows that it's the piece of the puzzle she's been missing this whole time, the piece that Magnus had so carefully kept hidden from them.

ooc: Isabelle has been canon updated to near the end of the TMI series: this comes with the knowledge that her baby brother died, among other things. Trace if you want to play from here I'm down with it, otherwise anyone can feel free to come upon the scene or find her at any time later, where she'll more than likely have locked herself in her room. I'm open to whatever is convenient for your pups, though. Twitter me if any questions <3

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Baz, then. Isabelle looks at the door, considers opening it, and decides against it. She's still in her pyjamas and her hair is a mess. She's not wearing any makeup and she's sure her face is tear-stained and horrible besides, so there's no way Baz is seeing her like this. There's no way anyone is seeing her like this, not until she can collect herself and paint herself up like nothing is wrong.

She hunches down in her covers and refuses to open the door. Baz is stubborn and there's a good chance he'll come in anyway, but she's not going to make it that easy for him. It was like this back home, too, after she found out, and she remembers that now. Remembers everything that she should have known from the start, the secrets upon secrets that Magnus has kept from her for over a year. She doesn't know how he managed to hold it in, how he managed to laugh with her and smile and continue to live their lives when Max's ended so abruptly.

I knock again, but there's no response. I know I hear a heartbeat, though, and I can't decide if I've made her angry somehow that she's ignoring me, or if she's in some sort of trouble. I don't want to take a chance, not when I know the kind of tricks this place can play, so I bring my wand out of my pocket. "Open sesame!" I cast, magickally opening the door.

"Isabelle?" I call, stepping into her apartment. I shut the door behind me and follow the sound of her heartbeat. Now I can hear her breathing, and...

"...Are you asleep?"

Edited 2017-01-17 14:13 (UTC)

She hears him come in, as expected, and for a moment she considers playing along with it, shutting her eyes and pretending she's asleep. She doesn't know how his senses work entirely, though, and he could clearly tell she was in here, so maybe he can tell when she's actually sleeping or not.

Besides, he's already in her apartment, now, so she sits up and looks at him, hoping she doesn't look too much a mess.

"No," she answers, and she wants her voice to sound cold and aloof the way she practised growing up, but it comes out small instead. "I'm not."

I pause, hovering uncertainly in the doorway. I feel like I've intruded on something personal. Isabelle looks like she could be ill, but the way her voice sounds sounds more heartbroken than sick.

"Are you alright?" I ask, wondering if it's that someone's disappeared. I haven't seen Alec in a few days, or Magnus since the party. And she has that boyfriend... "What happened?"

She considers lying and saying she's sick, but Nephilim don't get sick, and she doesn't think he'll believe it anyway. Any other lie she comes up with is going to be too easy to disprove and besides, Baz is her friend and Isabelle supposes he's going to find out one way or another. The secret will spread surely enough, and Isabelle thinks Max deserves more than that. He deserves to have her be able to talk about him herself.

"I saw home," she tells him, running a hand through the tangles in her hair. She doesn't know if Baz will understand exactly what she means. With Billy it had been easy to explain, it had happened to him, too. "Alec and I went out hunting and a demon bit me, and it sent me back home, somehow."

She doesn't think it's possible to be sent home permanently, not until the city decides its time, but she'd gone back for long enough. Long enough to remember, to know all the details Magnus was hiding.

I sit on the edge of the bed, because I feel imposing standing there. I'd rather be at Isabel's level if it's something serious, and it looks like it is.

I think I know what she's talking about, though I've never heard it described in quite the way she does. The way I've been told before is that it's like being given future memories, not actually brought home. Though I suppose if it seems real enough, maybe that's how it feels. I used to want it to happen to me to see what's going on with my family, but ever since what that other Baz told Simon, I'm afraid of what I might see.

"And what you saw wasn't good?" I ask quietly, drawing the logical conclusion.

He says it quietly, testing, but Isabelle still feels the weight of it like it might shatter her. Still, she stiffens her shoulders, bites down hard on her lip once and pushes it away.

"No," she admits, shifting to give him more room on the bed. She grips the edge of her blanket in her fingers, twists the material this way and that, stalling for time. She's only said it aloud a couple of times, to Alec, to Luke, to Magnus. Each time it gets a little more real, a little harder to deal with. "My brother died," she tells him, forcing the words out in one breath like that will make it easier. "Just after I arrived here."

That's the kicker, the thing that's driving her mad. Five more minutes back home and she might have saved him. She knows that there's some version of her who lived on back home even after she came to Darrow - that much is obvious, given this new host of memories - but she can't shake the feeling that if she'd been there, really been there, she could have stopped it.

I go still for a moment. Of all the things Isabel could have experienced...well, now I know why she's in bed, not answering calls. I want to ask which brother to be sure, but I have a feeling it's the younger one or she would have said Alec. Instead, I reach out and touch her hand, folding mine around it unless she pulls away.

"Isabel," I start to say, quiet. "I'm so sorry, love."

Her heart must be plummeting the way mine did when I learned Simon was dead back home. Not my Simon, but still a Simon. The potential to be my Simon. A death you can't even be present for, can't try to prevent...

I squeeze her hand.

Sorry won't bring Max back, but she's grateful for the sentiment anyway. She knows nothing will bring Max back, and she knows that Baz is only trying to help. The hardest part about all of this, she thinks, is dealing with everybody else. She's never had this, all these people that care about her. She's always had Alec, but back home she didn't have any close friends or family that she could turn to, and the amount of them in Darrow is almost overwhelming. She doesn't know how to accept their condolences properly, doesn't know how to let them help.

"His name was Max," she tells him, because Max deserves that at least. He deserves to be remembered. "He hadn't even taken Marks yet."

Max was still an innocent, not even a proper Shadowhunter. Sebastian had crossed a line in hurting him, someone who wasn't even part of the war.

I'm not good with people, I never have been. It's only through Simon that I've learned not to be so standoffish. Even with my little sisters I was never very good at being soft like Daphne was, especially when it came to comforting. Maybe I am my father's son more than I'd like to admit.

I know what helps with Simon when he's sad, which has been more than he ever should be thanks to the tricks this place plays. So I bring my arms around Isabel and bring her close to hold her. Sometimes words don't help, but touch does. I stoke her arm and hair. "This place is cruel to show you that and keep you here," I say quietly.

Dated January 10, 2017

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject